"I Am Who I Am Because of Who He Is"

I’ve been called a liar. I’ve been called a scammer. I’ve been called a bad mother. I’ve been called evil, a narcissist, a drug addict, disrespectful, fat, dirty, infected, worthless, a false prophet, stupid, a whore, and broke. But Allah called me His. I am who I am because of who He is. Throughout my life, I battled these titles—a war between knowing myself and believing the labels the world tried to place on me. The world wouldn’t accept me for who I was. It only found peace in its perspective of what I deserved. My battle was silent. I forfeited my name. I didn’t feel worthy of wearing my late grandmother’s name, though I am her namesake. I believed the rejection and abuse I experienced were justified. So, I began living in my own world, by my own rules, in my own solitude. It was safe here. I was safe. But just when I thought I was close to starting over, everything was taken away. That was the purgatory I lived in—the cycle of hell that felt cast over my life. My village seemed comfortable watching me in that darkness. Yet, in that fire, in that loneliness, God had me all to Himself. He raised me, taught me, fed me, protected me, and nurtured me. He was preparing me for the battle of my life. No name is greater than the one He has given me: His chosen. Hi, I’m Quiana, and I’m honored to have you here, reading my blog. Time is precious, so thank you for gifting me yours. Honestly, I should’ve started this blog a long time ago, but I’m a perfectionist. Now, I realize there’s no such thing as the perfect time—there’s just now. What you can expect here is simple: me, writing to you like I’m sitting right in front of you, having a conversation. No filters, no pretense. I used to put so much pressure on myself for everything to be perfect, but now I embrace what is. Water into wine. As we build this connection, I want you to know that I’m a consistent energy you can depend on. I know what it’s like to feel alone on the path, just wanting someone who understands. I’ll do my best to be that someone for you. Here’s something I’ve learned: When we’re given exactly what we need, we doubt it. We think, “There’s no way I deserve something this good, this easy, this simple.” But I’m here to tell you—it does exist. God is not a God of confusion. His truth is simple. If we lived in a world without confusion, wouldn’t it be a world of simplicity? Can we have it all? Peace, love, loyalty, great sex, marriage, wealth, health—literally everything? And if we can, why don’t we feel deserving of it? Why do we believe we have to wait until we die and go to heaven for it? What if everything you thought you knew was wrong? What if it is because He says it is? You were born perfect. God didn’t put the wounds on you; life did. Return to Him. Return to your perfect form. Return to being childlike. Heal. That’s the way. Your inner child is waiting for you to set them free. Oh, and yes—I’m very theatrical, so stay tuned. It’s going to get interesting.